He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
