your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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