i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
