Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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