I hate all girls vehemently.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
