she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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