i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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