This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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