Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
