Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
