i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
