So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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