So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
