Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
