Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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