Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize