I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
