Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
