She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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