...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Two words: nipple clamps
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