the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
