turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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