what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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