omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
