So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
