At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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