How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
