Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
kristin has been a bad kristin
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize