she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
