I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
