He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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