doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
