Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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