I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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