Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
