I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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