I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
