Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Randomize
