Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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