Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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