I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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