he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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