did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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