It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
