I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
