At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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