just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize