I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
