I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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