Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
