Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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