If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
