it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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