smell my finger.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
