but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
