Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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