but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
