he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
