Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize