oh god the rape fog is back!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
