He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
