ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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