That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
