I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
