listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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