I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
