Sponge bath it is.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
